The greatest love is unconditional, as it must be.  It requires self-less sacrifice and unflinching devotion, patience, and hope.

 

However, relationships are exactly the opposite.  They must have boundaries. The relationships we have, even those driven by deep and unconditional love, must always be conditional....for if there are not lines and loyalties and MUST-DO's, then we cheapen what love is, tempt our friends/spouses to disrespect us, and our meaningful relationships become corrupted.

 

If love is an action, which means it is reflected in what we do, and unconditional love allows for no limiits to the evil we allow in relationships, then we have a contradiction ---- how can unconditional and great love be (exist) when the actions shown in a relationships reflect a continous state of "no love" or worse, disrespect and loathing even?

 

 

             - The Traveller, a man of the 20th and 21st century

 ...............Does everything have to have a reason?

 ............... ...............Will I find answers to my questions?

 ............... ............... ...............Will this end with a succinct conclusion?  

 

The shifting in my heart, and the restless troublesome thoughts, are most uncomfortable lately…Maybe I need to deal with this alone....Perhaps I just have to listen to what a close friend said....just "Let it be."

i'm learning to use music and video to relax more

it's all kind of sad.

.....everyday I learn more to enjoy food, the moments, to chose that over working too much, and now to use music/video to lift my sprits.

and of coarse, to use excercise to give me the lift some use drugs/drink for, while others just suffer thru the bad times.

it's sad, because everyday i am becoming more like her, my ex

and she is becoming more like me (with responsibilities, thinking more and feeling less, seeing how each broken relationship breaks us irreparably, the value work and planning....because of the reality of the life she chose (for she is now alone)

how stupid some of us are sometimes

 

and how stupid those dumb ones make those that trust them look

 

it's really sad.....

 

how we could not have managed to learn from each other and thus come together more and stay together.....how she couldn't manage to tell me how it would be just one more time and see how things could have been.....did she ever really tell me how bad it was?  not really....amazing

"...pain heals....xxxxxxx....but glory never fades"

I can't remember the middle part right now.

And glory DOES fade.

...but if pain heals, that's all i want.

A man cannot cheat alone...there is always an immoral woman on the other side of the affairs

Few of these mistresses are as naive or ignorant as people think.

They are only naive to think they can steal what is not theirs, if they are lied to by the man that they help cheat and lie to his wife with....or they are ignorant enough to think they and the man they cheat with are of any value as a partner in any committed relationship.

 

It is a choice, and that choice is yours--choose wisely.

(An old story but one based on truth.)

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She
said,"How do I know if I married the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said,
"It
depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How
do
you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's
weighing on your mind. Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love
with
your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked
their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a
completely natural and spontaneous experience.

You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in
love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about
the
imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing
there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO
YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.
But
after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the
natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls
become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome
(when
it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute,
drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you
think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference
between
the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even
angry
subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry
the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria
of
the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with
someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their
spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for
fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is
the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby,
a
friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to
this
dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not
saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation
a
few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON;
IT'S
LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll
NEVER
just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make"
it
day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of
love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most
importantly,
it takes WISDOM.
You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific
things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your
marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity),
there
are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise
program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your
relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and
effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable...
you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.

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Welcome to this life I live in. Most look and see a happy guy, and as externals go I fit the bill well.

 

I've got a good career, have my act together financially, am well educated, seen places most people only dream or read about, and last I checked my looks and social skills were fine.

 

...but we all have our secret pain...and I have mine.

 

...perhaps you will know it one day....if I trust you enough.

 

In the interim, enjoy this site dedicated to my self-expression and ego :).

 

 

Brian Lee...The Traveller